Friday, December 31, 2010

As a Public Service, Cures for a Hangover

From The Edmonton (Alberta, Canada) Journal:

Movie star Kate Winslet says a sausage and bacon sandwich, with a glass of orange juice and a cup of sugary tea, is the best remedy.

Macho Daniel Craig sweats it off. Or if he can't force himself to work out, he heads to the sauna.

Pliny The Elder, buried in the lava of Vesuvius in 113 A.D., suggested cures might be: eggs of a nightowl in wine; a mullet killed in red wine or two eels suffocated in wine.

Lycurgus of Sparta, the 7th century Spartan lawmaker, had no sympathy for imbibers and ordered that drunks have their legs cut off.

Albertus Magnus, (1206-1280) the German theologian, philosopher and scientist considered the most learned man of the medieval world, must also have been the bravest.  His hangover cure: "A lion's sternum, taken in wine."

Lyle Best, philanthropist and president and CEO of Quikcard Solutions: "Poached eggs with Frank's XTRA Hot Cayenne Pepper Sauce always work for me."

Richard Wong, Sutton Place Hotel general manager:  "We Fijians drink grog, a pepper root plant pounded to fine power and mixed with water."

Carl Oleinyk, artist and musician: "Burnt toast and sauerkraut.  The carbon in the burnt toast and the fermentation of the cabbage do the trick. If you're hungover, you'll burn the toast anyway."

Warau Indian tip (for women only): "Take your mate when you come upon him worse for wear and tie him mummy-like in a hammock until the siege is over."

Barry Gogol, Western Realty Group broker/owner: "You'll never get a hangover if you drink very good scotch or very good red wine and eat quality cheese."

Hawaiian Voodoo suggestion: "Stick 13 pins into the cork of the bottle you were drinking from."

Vancouver Island fishermen's favourite: "Oysters, honey and ginger, with a can of Kokanee beer."

Marjorie O'Connor, fitness guru: "Take the toughest boot and puke class you can find. Sweating up a storm is painful but effective."

Puerto Rican faith-healer tip: "Take half a lemon and rub it into the armpits."

Keith Spencer, former U of A criminologist: "My New Year's atonement is to take part in the Running Room's Resolution Day Run at the South Edmonton YMCA. You are surrounded by masochists intent on self-flagellation. Misery loves company."

Don Marcotte, CBC regional manager, media operations and technology: "Lie face down in the snow."

W.C. Fields: "Always carry a flagon of whisky in case of snakebite. Furthermore, also carry a small snake."

Neil Herbst, Alley Kat Brewing Company owner/brewer: "Drink a full pint of water before going to bed. But drinking good craft-brewed beer the following day is also curative."

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