Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Cowboys are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other (Willie Nelson)



At my advanced age, I’ve fallen in love!!!  His name is Justin Rosario.  I think he’s in his 30's, so he’s just a kid, but what makes me love him is his mind. . . and his ability eloquently to write about what’s on his mind.

Today, as on most Wednesdays, he’s posted a piece on AddictingInfo. org.  Today’s piece is, “Culture Wars:  Episode One –The Gay Menace Or ‘Why are conservatives so afraid of homosexuality?’” (http://addictinginfo.org/new/?page_id=1110)  Please read it!!!  His understanding is right on.  It’s great to see that a straight man understands!

I’ve written here several times about conservatives, their “Christianity,” and how they have fucked up my life as a gay man.  I could write a book about that topic.  There is so much wrong with what religious zealots think about being gay.  Justin points out several of the major problems in today’s piece.  If I never heard the phrase “gay lifestyle” again it would be too soon, and Justin deals with that and with other “Christian” idiocies  that frost my ass.

Just this week, I wrote about a friend who is a fundamentalist Baptist.  Divorced and remarried, he nonetheless believes every word he’s read in the Bible about homosexuality and, as close as we are and as much as I know he cares about me, he still considers any sexual expression of my gay nature an “abomination.”  For this man, my only choice in life is to try to have straight sex, or to have no sex at all.

I know the Bible.  I was a Franciscan candidate for the priesthood and studied scripture as part of my preparation for ministry.  Later on in my life, I spent seven years as part of a group that read and studied scripture constantly and seriously.  My Baptist friend says that I am the only Roman Catholic he has ever met who really knows the scripture.

One day, my Baptist friend and I were “discussing” the scriptures related to being gay.  I asked him, a man divorced and remarried,  how he deals with the following scripture, Mark 10/2-12:

>>>And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"  He answered them, "What did Moses command you?"  They said, "Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to put her away."  But Jesus said to them, "For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.  But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.'  'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."  And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter.  And he said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”<<<

He couldn’t deal with it.  He called it one of the “hard sayings of Jesus.”  He told me that he believes that his life is “righteous” and that he was justified in divorcing his first wife and, some years later, marrying again.  I agreed with him.  In my eyes, my friend is righteous, moral, and had good reason both for the divorce and remarriage.  I told him his only problem was his intellectual dishonesty in maintaining the infallibility of the scripture while living his life as a good, moral, decent, and divorced man.  I pointed out that gay men and women take the same view of the scriptural prohibitions on gay sex as my Baptist friend takes on Jesus’ prohibition of divorce and remarriage: noted and disregarded as inapplicable to modern life.  I also pointed out to him that his lord and savior, Jesus, never said one word about being gay or about gay sex, unlike Jesus’ clear statement about divorce and remarriage.

We agreed to disagree.

This intellectual dishonesty, what Justin calls “cognitive dissonance,” is what makes it impossible to deal with these rabid gay–haters.  They are willing to make any necessary accommodation in their belief system to justify the way they live their lives.  At the same time, they refuse to listen to what people who are gay are telling them.  I didn’t choose to be gay.  I tried my best not to be gay.  It didn’t work.  Their god created me gay.  Does their god, having made me gay, then offer me the choice between a loveless inhuman life on the one hand, and eternal hell–fire on the other?  If that’s their god, then it’s a very sick god, and they are just as sick when they believe in such a being.

Thanks, Justin, for getting it right and for writing it so well.

No comments:

Post a Comment